Ireland

Earlier today I was answering a security question I set for myself a few years ago.

What is your dream job? 

I couldn't hold back my little smirk when I typed in the answer-- traveling.

I know the phrase "traveling" doesn't exactly qualify as a job and doesn't exactly bring in any income (no, it does the opposite), but the little 19-year-old me could only answer truthfully. What would I like to do most in the world for my adult life? Travel.

It took a moment to sink in. I'm doing exactly what I want to do most in the world.

That said, I'm facing this summer with big anticipation. Four countries, five weeks, and just one Little Wild Wolfe. "Anticipation" is the short word for what I've been feeling. I found myself at the Amsterdam airport absolutely shaking with "anticipation." And so much more. I can't help but feel so small when  I'm traveling, looking at the world from a window, from a distance. Being a lone traveler doesn't exactly help that feeling. For one of the first times since I came to Amsterdam, I felt a genuine fear.

I think the passport control lady really put a finger on the roots of my fear.

"Do you have an exact address of where you're staying?"

Kind of.

"Do you even know the people you're staying with? What do they do?"

I honestly have no idea.

"How much money do you have accessible to you?"

Definitely not enough (but seriously, when is there ever enough?).

"Do you know how you're getting to the place you're staying?"

Would it sound bad if I said no?

Yeah, the conversation set me on edge. Even though the lady simply wrinkled her nose, "hmfed" at me, and stamped my passport, she had managed to perfectly summarize my own fears. Do I really know what I'm doing? Can I do it all on my own?

The short answer is yes. The long answer lies somewhere between sort of and no.

Arriving in Belfast I hopped on a bus which took me to Londonderry, about an hour and a half away. And let me tell you, that ride was life changing. I'm happy to inform you that everything you've ever heard or seen or even dreamed of when it comes to the beauty of Ireland is absolutely true. I smiled to myself as I rolled along the softly curving road. I couldn't help but think of The Emperor's New Groove and how the main character asked the village man exactly what was the most beautiful part of his village.

Ireland is stunningly gorgeous.

Driving along put me completely at ease. No matter where I was headed, I knew it couldn't be terrible in such a beautiful country as this. Turns out, I do know where I'm going, I just don't always know the state I'll be when I get there.

Back to the nitty-gritty, I wasn't exactly sight-seeing my entire time there. On the recommendation of a childhood friend, I stayed with some of her friends just outside of Londonderry. From there, I helped them move to Bushmills, which is even further up North (closer to where this picture was taken). A majority of my trip for the first half was just your usual moving house stuff-- load there, unload here, drive a lot in-between, lift a lot of things. However, distance-wise, I covered almost half of Northern Ireland, multiple times. And let me tell you, the views were not bad. I didn't mind the car rides in the least.

This lovely couple hosted me, despite their moving/new job extravaganza

My hosts took me into Portrush to a cool tavern-thingy. I say "thingy" because this restaurant owns a whole corner and has created a little haven of restaurants and bars, each one with a specialty. It was so cute. My hosts also did a good job teaching me about a lot of the social, political, and religious strife that Northern Ireland has been facing, especially in the more recent decades. It was so interesting seeing Protestant and Catholic sides of religion playing such a dramatic role in society. In Londonderry I even got to see the square where Bloody Sunday happened. I also learned a lot about hunger strikers, who starved themselves for the sake of the Irish Republic during the times of The Troubles. I also arrived just after a The Twelfth, which is a national Holiday for the Protestants in Ireland and can get pretty violent at times. There were still lots of English flags flying, marching bands playing, and general unrest among the public. Although it's pretty clear tensions are better than they were in the past, it was crazy to experience that level of tension still present in Northern Ireland.

This is where Bloody Sunday happened

Don't worry, we also did fun stuff. My hosts drove me by the Dark Hedges (which I guess is a bigger deal when you're into Game of Thrones):

Pretty sweet, eh?

And finally, to Dunluce Castle-- my personal favorite.

Can you believe that?! A crumbling castle on a cliffside, and the water as blue as you could imagine

And there was a pretty sweet cave you could climb down.

Looking up from the bottom of the cave

Oh yeah, and conveniently enough, a childhood friend of mine happened to be staying ten miles away from me! Kyle was staying at Corrymeela, which is a peace and reconciliation center. It was super pretty, and so nice to have a piece of home so far away from home!!

Yo, he's Kyle and he's Coo

And that was pretty much it. I enjoyed it so much. Although it was genuinely very tiring, we still managed to pull two all-nighters sitting around a kitchen table and laughing at each other. Even last night we only grabbed a few hours of sleep before Colin took me to the airport in Belfast at an ungodly hour. I was so spoiled staying with Colin and Steph, and also by being able to see an old friend.

So yes, I am traveling solo. Yes, I do have to figure some things out alone. But as it turns out, no matter where I end up in the world, I am surrounded by friendly faces. And, if I'm lucky, I'm also surrounded by a beautiful country like Northern Ireland.

So, onward! Leaving my hosts in the Bushmills was nerve wrecking, again. Just when I had started to feel comfortable, it was time to move on. I'm glad our goodbye was quick and in the odd hours of the night (or morning?), because my heart is buzzing again.

And here I am. Whether I'm brave or not, my plane managed to fly me into Glasglow, and now I'm hanging out in Edinburgh for four days before I go to Spain. What does a person even do with four days all to themselves?! I'll do the research and let you know.

Although I feel so small and insignificant and almost helpless in this big world, I'm hoping that with each step I take, each city I visit, my heart will grow more brave. More quiet. More strong.

Regardless, I'll follow the weak flutters of that darned heart wherever it takes me. And I'll look forward to it.

Until next time!

With all the love this weak-willed heart can muster,

Jessica J. Wolfe

Honorable mention: my new cow friends.